What is Emo? Well to answer that question I had to take a hard hitting look at Emo. Unfortunately no matter how much meth and gay energy drinks I consume I will never be able to read all Emo related material on the net.

What is Emo you ask? The Etymology of Emo comes from the Latin derivative of “mo” which translates to retard. After much cultural use of the word it socially refers to
Emo-tional Pussy. To truly gauge how this all came about we must delve deep into how it came to be “VH1 Behind the shitty music” style!

If Emo were a child, it would be the bastard child of a Punky Rockabilly ass-raping a
skater with a beetles haircut then getting adopted by a manic depressive goth.
Emo has a sad desperate story to tell but we really don’t care. Not as cool as skater,
as angry as goth, as melodic as a rocker, as fierce as punk or as creative as bohemian
Emos make their niche on having all of none of the good qualities of any alternative group.

Emos usually are the butt of many jokes. They are not only easy to make fun of but it makes their easy upper-middle class lifestyle seem more miserable and gets them more attention. Hunting the Emo is a bad idea as they survive so many fake suicides that they have become immune to cutting and self deprecation.

Emos are like the ballads of 80s hair-bands in which they are memorable, easy to make fun of but nostalgically no one wants to admit to later in life. If Goth were an alcoho,l Emo would be the Zima that gets fat girls drunk and horney.  If Emo were punk, it would be Punk Lite in that it would be none of the flavor nor the calories but just the irritable disposition and weird punk smell.

-Miss Tress